We still haven't made a decision but I have decided to post what options our agency has given us. I emailed our agency to find out about starting a concurrent adoption. Though not impossible she said it is a lot harder.
Instead she suggested that we do a dualing adoption. This is where you submit a dossier for a different country then which ever country has a referral first you take that one and your other dossier is withdrawn. The only extra fees are what it takes to prepare the dossier.
The other countries our agency works with that we qualify for are Russia, Kazakhstan, Ethiopia, and an African American Domestic Adoption. We have already eliminated Ethiopia because it is a pioneer program for our agency just like their Vietnam program, and we are just not ready for another pioneer program. I don't think we will do Russia because the program is just starting back up and the children are older than we were hoping for.
The good news is Kazakhstan also allows for adoptions of unrelated children so we would still have a chance of bringing home two children. The difficult part is it requires 6-7 weeks in country or 2 trips and I am nervous about a "blind referral." I also still haven't figured out what the average age at referral is for our agency.
We are also seriously considering an African American Domestic adoption. This was actually our first choice when we started this adoption journey but I felt more comfortable being in a line than waiting to be chosen. I love the fact that we could bring our child home from the hospital, that he/she would be ours from almost the beginning of his/her life. I still don't know if I am strong enough to deal with the possibility that the birth mother could change her mind.
So there you have it. As you can imagine I am a basket case trying to decide what is best for us and our future children.
About Us
- Mike and Shelley
- Washington State
Blog Archive
Adoption Time Line
- 4/6/07 Received i-171H
- 3/12/07 Submitted i-600a and was fingerprinted
- 3/9/07 Received final home study
- 2/27/07 Agency reviewed home study and sent comments to SW
- 2/24/07 Received home study rought draft
- 2/7/07 Mailed the final documents for our home study
- 2/6/07 Received Shelley's updated passport
- 1/26/07 Applied to change name on Shelley's passport
- 1/26/07 Had first home study meeting
- 1/26/07 Orientation phone call with agency
- 1/23/07 Accepted by agency
- 1/16/07 Mailed application to adoption agency
- 1/6/07 Decided to adopt from Vietnam
- 12/30/06 Made the final decision to adopt
6 comments:
Wow what a decision, I am glad I don't have to make it but I am sure you will make the right one!
It is really good that they are offering these options to all the pioneers. I'm really glad that they are doing this.
My gosh, I feel like I could have written that post myself! Really, that is exactly what I've been dealing with too. I'm glad you're with an agency that, like mine, will let you pursue a second path while waiting as a pioneer with the first. I really only had one other option with my agency(domestic, like you) but it has been a relief to go ahead with that and at least feel like I've done all I can. Even so, I've been frequently second-guessing myself. I wish you luck in deciding what to do - I can say that I think I really understand what you're going through!
That is a big decision! There certainly are risks for heartbreak with domestic adoption (birth mother changing her mind, or not being picked, like you mentioned) but there are risks for heartache no matter which decision you make, really. Best of luck sorting it all out.
Good luck on making the decision. I've been following a blog since we started this process and they also started out doing a Vietnam adoption and had the opportunity to adopt domestically, African American. Here's there website: http://longadventures.blogspot.com/
Good luck no matter which route you choose you will meet the child meant for you. Everything happens for a reason.. follow your heart.
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